student hey government can I have some money to go to university

uk government sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man

scottish government nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you

us government no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker.