Bevendre

I don’t ship in general, especially not myself.

I’m demisexual, meaning that I don’t get attracted to people at all unless I have an emotional connection with them beforehand.  As such it takes a long time for me to be attracted to, or even interested in someone romantically.

I’ve only ‘loved’ one person before, and it took years for that to develop.  When I eventually gathered the nerve to ask her out we were together for a few days before she broke up with me through a post it note.  I still 'loved’ her though, and hoped that it could work out in the future.  A year and a half later she started dating my best friend, and they were very, very open about it, to the point of making out blatantly before me.

I’ve not been in a relationship of any kind besides that, and that experience has left me with more than a few trust issues.  Because of that, I can’t ship myself with anyone, not just because I know that nothing could or would come from it (even if it is just for fun) but because the very thought of it does no more than bring old pains to the surface.